The following was originally posted December 3, 2020 on a now long gone version of my website/blog, so references to other posts, links, etc. may be incorrect/non-existent. I've changed the title to be more inclusive but left the original text below. So it's a DIY diversity, equity, inclusion post - For diversity: substitute BPD with NPD, ASPD or HPD as you wish. For equity: read BPD as all of them individually. For inclusion: use Cluster B in place of BPD. All Cluster B's are similar enough in their behaviors and dysfunctional interpersonal relation methods that the individual categories have little real value outside a clinical setting. And yes they are all abusive, despite their gaslighting and denials to the contrary. One could say they are not abusive to
everyone, or that they aren't abusive
all the time. If someone diagnosed or claiming to be Cluster B truly does not engage in any of the abusive behaviors typical of Cluster B's I might question that diagnosis and whether CPTSD and/or something else would be more accurate.
So... something that is patently obvious to pretty much anyone that has been in a relationship with a BPD seems to now be getting more recognition in the mental health world. Like this issue hasn't had widespread impact on society for years now... For even more on that, check out the next post on some 30 year old data that you won't hear about practically anywhere. But today we're looking at an article Posted by
A.J. Mahari | Mar 26, 2020 and Reviewed by:
Ryan House, M.A. Doctoral Candidate Clinical Psychology
Will a Person With BPD Ever Change?
However, clearly I write about this here to say that *if a
borderline is not getting treatment*, and I mean for real, not just
going through the motions type of treatment, *there is no logical
reason to even begin to believe that the abuse that any borderline
in your life is perpetrating upon you will stop.*
The very thing that you most want from your borderline (or wanted if
you’ve left the relationship) in terms of what it means to have a
relationship and to relate was not ever even on the table because
the borderline is not an emotionally/psychologically mature being.
This goes along with what I wrote about BPD's just being broken children.
Incapable of Adult Intimacy
Borderlines who live from a false self and who do not have an active
and keen awareness of their own core wound of abandonment and their
abandoned pain are not capable of age-appropriate adult intimacy or
relating.
It is from the core of this emotional dysfunction that borderlines
end up abusing either themselves, others, or both. Non-borderlines,
are often on the receiving end of many types of abuse.
Bottom line is that without significant treatment, they don't grow up and they will continue throwing temper tantrums, acting out and all the selfish behaviors which are typical of a child but with the added experiences, strength, [whatever] of an adult which means verbal, emotional, and/or physical abuse is about 99.9% guaranteed for anyone in a close relationship with a BPD.
And yet the mental health world still seems reluctant to diagnose a BPD person as BPD, due to 'the stigma of BPD' or whatever touchy feelly bullshit reason. Maybe the widespread calling of BPD's as the destructive abusers they are might convince more of them to actually seek and commit to treatment [but probably not]. If there were something like a BPD registry so they couldn't lie their way through life, leaving a trail of destruction like they do now and had some method of proving they were actively participating in treatment to receive appropriate societal privileges as an incentive to get better, maybe there would be a positive change. Maybe it would break this enlarging circle of societal destruction which I believe is more widespread and prevalent than most realize or are willing to admit. That 30 year old data I mentioned...
just the tip of the iceberg.
